When I decided to write a post in consideration of all the manifold ways the French culture (particularly that in Paris) can teach us to be more sophisticated, elegant and refined, and how in turn, the well-heeled American can share a little advice of his/her own - I immediately thought of Olivier Magny.
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| Monsieur Olivier Magny Hard at Work |
The young and handsome sommelier, owner of O-Chateau in Paris, author of Stuff Parisians Like and Into Wine, and winner of the 2013 Wine Spectator Award of Excellence. Who better? Yet, with all of his accomplishments, his greatest, is the philosophy on life and culture he shares with that, oh, so, particular French charm or je ne sais quoi. Couple this with an insouciant sense of humor, wit and passion. Yes, Olivier, please pour another glass of vin.
In speaking with Monsieur Magny on a rainy Friday morning, I was fascinated to find that he was in Mississippi. His wife is from the Magnolia state, where he informed me they had recently been furniture shopping. "They sent a letter thanking us for a couch we bought. That would never happen in France," he informs me.
I poked and prodded, listening with great intent to hear all of the ways the French are miles and light years more this or that than their American counterparts. Yet the ball was regularly thrown back, with a respect and interest in my own culture. I was also curious, if he felt his book, Stuff Parisians Like, spoke more to the likes and dislikes of the upper class Parisian. "Il y a de la plebe dans toutes les classes," he responds, quoting Hegel. Translation: There are plebeians (term descending from ancient Rome describing the common/ordinary people) in all classes. He explains that Parisians, like any culture, have basic commonalities that transcend class.
However, we could agree on several American transplants that the French can do without: McDonalds and Coca Cola, and he finds the over idealization of French culture quite strange. "That was a France forty years ago." He goes on to relate the recent headline of a 30% unemployment rate, and how the traditional inhabitants of Paris have left due to the rise in government taxes, especially related to inherited property. "Wealthy Americans are coming to France looking for that certain charm of French life and people, and buying up the properties in nice areas. The French people are gone. Now they are simply living next to other rich Americans with the same idealization. But it's no longer the reality."
As I listen to Olivier, my heart melts a bit, having been a true Francophile for most of my life. Luckily the blows are lessened, as I read, Stuff Parisians Like, months before this conversation and know the real deal. There are always two sides.
That is where I come in.
(All quotes from Stuff Parisians Like)
Lessons to take ...
1. Moderation in life. Olivier believes the French have taken moderation too far -- no pun intended. "If qualities were diseases, moderation would be the Parisian plague." However, I explain how Americans and our adoration of excess has led us to be one of the fattest and unhealthiest countries in the world, not to mention one of the most wasteful. Pollution anyone? No? Well, we've shipped most of our pollution to China through their unregulated factories used to make our cheap throw-away (so-called) luxuries. Please, no more celebrities with clothing lines!
2. Wear more black. The majority of Parisians are known for their neutral, moderate and conservative wardrobes. "Parisians look at people dressed colorfully with a fair bit of disdain. Style exuberance in Paris is considered offensive." If Americans were to follow the Parisians lead (not the "Street Style" hipsters of Paris, who are mostly foreign), we would have less cheap, trendy clothes to throw in the waste basket.
3. Drive a small efficient car. "Owning a small car and finding himself fine with it makes the Parisian look down on anyone owning a big car. These people will immediately be suspected of either overcompensating or of being a beauf. The worst kind of beauf in the Parisian's view is the SUV owner." Unless you live in a city with harsh weather and need an off road vehicle, are shipping out to Afghanistan, or have quintuplets, there is no reason for anyone in California, for example, to drive a Hummer (Quelle Horreur!) or a HUGE Escalade, Yukon or other Suburban Assault Vehicle. Especially a tiny little woman in size zero yoga pants holding her only meal of the day, a grande non-fat sugar-free vanilla latte.
4. The blazer and the scarf. Wonderful wardrobe staples for the chic, sophisticated man or woman. "You wear a sportscoat, jeans, and voila, simple!" Ah, this is why we love traditional French style -- it is simple, uncluttered and subtly amorous. "Parisians like the romantic glow that comes with wearing a scarf. Men think of poetry, women of floating elegance."
5. The 2-Drink Maximum. Americans are brought up thinking the French are drinking tubs of wine, all day and all night. Somehow drinking wine makes us feel more sophisticated, and well, French. Ironically, the French are drinking less and less, and as Olivier shares. "It is very easy to spot a tourist in a Parisian café. They are the ones drinking wine." Also, there is a stigma to drunkenness that is considered particularly vulgar to the Parisian. More than two glasses of wine is considered excessive, and Parisians are careful about their appearance. Nothing is uglier than public drunkenness, especially for La Parisienne. It shows a lack discipline and elegance, so why indulge?
Lessons to avoid ...
1. Not exercising. As most Francophiles know, the French are not huge on exercising at the gym or playing a lot of sports. Yet, a country with one of the highest rates of depression could use a gym membership or a jog through the Place Vendome. Plus, there is nothing more unattractive than a flabby physique -- no matter how thin. I once dated an American man that lived in France and I mentioned what great figures French women have. He responded, "They look good in clothes, but have no muscle tone. I like a woman that works out." All of that walking they love to talk about is wonderful and healthy, yet it does little to lift a sagging bottom or sculpt a sleek stomach.
2. Smoking is bad for you, period. Not only does it cause cancer, but wrinkles your face into early prune-hood, and you walk around smelling like a chimney. Nothing says un-sexy to Americans more than a smoker.
3. The American hero. The French are somehow convinced that strength of body and intellectualism cannot go hand in hand. "The concept of being a "real man" is vastly looked down upon for displaying far too obviously characteristics that relate to a lack of intelligence and refinement: concepts like strength, masculinity, physical power ...." In America, we have been taught from a very young age that we can and should "have it all." Upper class men especially, have been expected to excel academically and in sports, and should be street smart and capable of using their vast wit and physical strength to kick some serious ass, if need be. We love the idea of a conservative, intellectual Clark Kent, that when he takes his clothes off ... is Super Man. We have yet to create an obtuse, dull-witted and frail Super hero.
4. A Little Vulgarity is Good. Have that third glass of wine on occasion. No need to do the "walk of shame" or be arrested for public drunkenness, but a little fun is good for the soul. "Parisians have lost sight that a whole world exists between moderation and excess." There is nothing more attractive than un petit naughtiness, humor or daring in a person. It adds flavor to one's own life and of those around you. The rule of thumb and what High Society knows, is place and appropriateness. Dirty jokes at the PTA meeting? Well, no. Getting drunk and dancing on the table at a work holiday party? Definitely not. Having that 3rd glass of wine, being a little tipsy and flirting with the bartender at O-Chateau? Bien sur!
A third glass, Olivier!
